Paul Dobleman: January’s Asshole of the Month WINNER!

By Paul Dobleman:
There were a lot of good ones but this is the winner for January and the first asshole of the year! Due to the nature of the story this person wanted to remain candid so we’ll just call him, James. This is James’s story…

A few years ago I was living in a house outside of San Francisco. I signed the lease with a friend of a friend who also needed a place to live. After we moved in I realized that this guy was a nightmare. Coming in late at night drunk, pot smoke wafting from under his door when my parents came for dinner, puking in the sink in our shared bathroom. Real “classy” roommate stuff.

After a few months of this I was about at my wits-end. During this time the place I worked for offered for me to work from home more often so I decided that I “needed” a home office. I hated my roommate and I wanted his room for my own, so I decided he needed to go and pronto.

On a day he wasn’t there I went into his room to try and find something that I could use to evict him. Lucky for me he wasn’t just smoking pot, he had turned his closet into the beginings a mini pot farm. Let the record show that I don’t have any problem with pot but this guy had to be GONE. So one day I called in an “anonymous tip” with our local police department. I answered the door to the two cops when they arrived. I played up that I “had no idea what they were talking about” but that my roommate was upstairs if they needed to talk to him.

Long story short… Upon searching his room, not only did they find the few small pot plants but he also had about a thousand dollars in cash and quite a large supply of cocaine. Couple that with a few other small arrests he got 5 to 10 years in jail, and I got my beautiful new home office. Asshole of the month material?

Congratulations James, you are an asshole!

James chose the pinata donkey for his collection, good luck to everyone else!!!

Reply to: Paul Anthony Dobleman
Spider Murphy’s Tattoo
1006 Lincoln Ave.
San Rafael, CA 94901
415 460-6979

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