Hi Paul, my name is Matt and here is my asshole of the month story. For my morning stress relief I usually tug one out in the morning, I had run out of all my Curel lotion and was searching the bathroom for some of my girlfriend’s lotion.
I found what looked like to be some old stuff she probably wouldn’t care about. When I squeezed it out I noticed it was orange but I was desperate and didn’t care. After I was done I got in the shower and rinsed off, when I got out I realized my hand and dick were this weird bronzy orange-ish color.
I started stressing, trying to scrub it off but nothing was working. I went about my day and later that night I was out to dinner with my girlfriend, as we were eating she was like, “Oh my god… What the fuck happened to your hand?” She took a closer look and said, “Oh fuck you, you were using my expensive fake tan lotion to JACK OFF! Fucking asshole!”
Congratulations Matt, you’re an asshole!
Matt also chose the flying donkey for his collection.