My name is Toby, here is my asshole story… When I was in high school drama class there was this fundraiser called the DANCE-A-THON. We would all hide booze or weed in our cars and take breaks to get drunk or stoned and then go back in and dance. So this one DANCE-A-THON, my friends and I had run out of alcohol so I asked these even dorkier girls if they had any, and to my surprise they did. They gave me the keys to their car and score… A half-handle of Cuervo Gold in the trunk! My friends and I pretty much finished it off and I was like, “Fuck, what should I say?” At that moment I realized I had to take a piss and it was genius, same color and everything, they would never notice… I took off the stopper thing and pissed in the Cuervo bottle filling it back up to about half. All set. Gave the keys back and forgot about it. The next day at school the girls came up to me and said, “You suck Toby, we know you watered down our tequila because we drank more after we let you have some.”
Congratulations Toby, you are a fucking asshole!
Toby chose the flying donkey for his tattoo collection.