By Victor Farinelli
This is not gonna be a long post because, frankly, this show is just becoming sad… Just sad. I thought this show would give me some great ammunition to vent the fury in my head. But alas, no. I have to take that out on my last place Brewers who, as I write this, beat the first place Cards. So I can’t even take it out on them. Fuck! I guess there are always the Astros…
Our continuing saga opens with our ragtag contestants at Universal Studios. The guest judge this week was Miya Bailey, owner of City of Ink Tattoo shop in Atlanta, GA. For the flash challenge, the gang had to draw their own comic book characters for a movie poster. Each poster had to be a self-portrait of a superhero. The top two were Jarod and Teresa. Teresa finally won a flash challenge and nabbed $4,000. Damn! That is a chunk-o-change for sure.
For the ink challenge, they had to create tattoos that were eventually animated. They were calling this clusterfuck concept “state-of-the-art” and “cutting-edge technology.” Bullshit! I don’t even want to waste my hard-earned ire on this. Derek, however, is another story. I didn’t know that there were still arrogant pieces of shit like this out there in the world. Every week he says profound world-changing prose like, “I don’t need to prep. I’m badass, and they know it.” and “90 percent of the tattoo world could not do a tattoo of that quality in that amount of time [in this case five hours] as I can.” Yet he still seems to end up on the bottom and can’t figure out why. YOU SUCK! That’s why. You are doing more of a disservice to the craft of tattooing than I am by writing about it. You are one miserable human being.
The judges announced that there were only two in the top ranking this week: D.J. and Teresa. Of course. They are actually good tattooists. It is a toss-up for me. They both made good tattoos. The eyes in D.J.’s lion were stunning. The line work and detail in Teresa’s telephone tattoo was just incredible.
D.J. came out as the winner this week. The judges told him that he alone had to choose the worst two contestants. Then, all the contestants had to go in the back room with him and convince him why they should stay. He picked Alli and Derek for the bottom. Derek had the gall to suggest that Teresa should go home, like she was some kinda hack. What?
Derek could not understand why he was in the bottom. Because you just copied a picture off the Internet you stupid fuck! You have not one iota of originality and talent in your frumpy little moronic body. I can’t go on. They sent him home. Fuck, finally! I was wondering how the producers were going to have him skate through this one. This carrion eater’s tattoo is going to be a muddy turdhole in three or four months. His parting words were something about being blackballed because he was so diverse… The other tattooists and judges were clearly intimidated by his talent, and he was judged unfairly. No son, you are really that bad. Suck it.
Victor is a blogger for Tattoo Artist Magazine and can be found at: http://www.facebook.com/victhortheviking.
Read more from Victor here: http://tattooartistmagazineblog.com/?s=Victor+Farinelli
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